I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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