I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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