Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
