i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
