HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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