Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My feet surprised me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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