I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
someone owes me an orgasm
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
