I showed him my bush... on skype.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
