i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
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