I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
