We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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