whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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