She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
