I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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