wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
