well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
