Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
