Midget sex pt 2 tonight
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize