I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
