When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
