Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
