So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
