OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
