he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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