Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
