doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
