she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
