i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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