Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
