I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
