He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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