we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
