I wannas sexs uuuuu
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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