Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
