My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
