I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
