I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
