i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
