You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize