it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
