I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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