Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just pee around me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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