a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
