the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
