Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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