I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize