Where did you get a picture of my penis
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
