Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
