Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
