I wish I could punch you in the face.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
