I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
