I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
