I want to have your abortion
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
