They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
