How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize