what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
