Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
