Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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