i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
